struggle

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JOE: Good morning, Calliope.
CALLIOPE: Good morning Joe. I take it your backup computer is behaving this morning.
JOE: It is. Nice to be with you.
CALLIOPE: What's on your mind today?
JOE: I had an interesting conversation with my friend Gerry yesterday.
CALLIOPE: What did he have to say?
JOE: His comments were about my exchanges with you. He knew me many years ago when I was trying to figure out the meaning of life and what to do with mine in particular.
CALLIOPE: And?
JOE: He saw our conversations as reminiscent of my earlier struggles. To him it sounded like I was still locked in the same struggles which plagued me then.
CALLIOPE: Do you agree?
JOE: I had to stop to think about it. I was not aware of the similarities before he mentioned them. In some ways he is right. I still have many of the same questions about the meaning of life, how it should be lived and what makes people act as they do.
CALLIOPE: Do you think you have changed over the years?
JOE: The questions are still the same. Maybe my challenge is to spend my life pondering the same questions and keep coming up with little insights about them. In that sense I haven't changed. However I don't feel the desperation I once felt to have the answers. I now look on the same issues as life's mysteries. I can contemplate them and explore possible explanations but don't feel a life and death struggle or that my life will self destruct if I don't find the answers immediately. I think I have become more patient over the years.
CALLIOPE: What do you think he was getting at?
JOE: I think he would like to see me be able to relax more and enjoy life rather than being locked in a struggle to understand it. He encouraged me to explore activities such as painting which I did briefly and then jumped right back into the fray with my writing. I think I will do a little painting today. Talk with you tomorrow.
(Public Stocks- Renaissance Faire)