Is striking another adult an appropriate way of saying that they were wrong for their actions? Pretty sure that is called assault. Do two wrongs make a right?
Personally I feel there is no hard fast answer to this question. As a child I was beaten with a belt and ended up in the hospital several times, this qualifies me to allude to this practice taken to extremes. However if you look at today's child raising techniques you can see that this no spanking has raised a generation of children who CAN be smug, very rebellious and sometimes even dangerous ( can anyone say Columbine ) They grow up thinking there will be no consequences and that as parents you HAVE to do this or that for them or they will just make grief for you.
As I said this is situational, it is not needed for every parent or child, but the Govt needs to step out of regulating the home to a certain degree and deal with focusing on the criminal application of this type of behavior, maybe with the same severity that the offending parents use with the children they abuse. Theres a difference between spanking a child for wrongdoing, vs starving and beating a child for minimal infractions or errors for when the child dies, what lesson is learned and what the hell was the point?
Reading the article that spawned this poll I noticed one thing, in almost all the cases cited it wasnt parents raising children but rather supposed do-gooders adopting foreign children and seeming to be "on a mission" to make them perfect. Again a generalization but seems this good will was applied with the same vigor and ruthlessness as has been exemplified in the past with native americans, slaves, or even as Hitler did with the Jews. Convert, or change, or you are less than human and will be treated that way.
As for Andrew's comment, well theres a distinction between what interacting adults do and the interaction between a parent and child. Anyone mature enough would see and recognize that and wouldn't make such an absurd comparison. As a matter of fact Andrew lets go even further in your comparison, lets say a person is a grocery store goes bonkers, picks up a shovel handle and beginss to beat anyone that comes within reach...... Is it wrong for another adult, or security person or even cop to subdue that person? In your definition it isnt but in real life thats what any reasonable person would expect and even welcome as an action. I do believe it wouldn't be considered an assault, and the person intervening would be considered to be doing what is right.
Kyle your experience as a child is one that no child should endure at the hands of anyone let alone a parent.To justify the practice using arguing the extremes and the absurd do nothing to support your argument.
Spanking a child is an admission of failure on the part of a parent to teach the child a lesson or correct something the child has done. When adults resort to assaulting a child for whatever reason it is criminal conduct. The claim that parents have some special license to batter their children ranks with the claim of spousal privilage that a husband occasionaly hitting his wife is accepable because they are married or that a wife isn't assaulting her husband when she clocks him.
The fact is assault on another person is criminal. I am surprised that the anti-abortion right-to-life crowd that crowd that embrces the belief that an embryio is a living person and as such should be accorded all of the protections due a person hasn't weighed in on the side of protecting children from being assaulted by their parents.
OK..I have kept my mouth shut for months here on the Batavian...NOW you hit a soft spot. Anyone..thats.. ANYONE who strikes a child in the name of discipline or for any reason should be jailed. Andrew Martin (no relation) is spot on. It's assualt and child abuse. What are you teaching the chiild..that it's ok to hit people because you don't like the way they are acting? That if you want things your way..beat the other person? Spare the rod..spoil the child??? Shut Up! That's ridiculous. Violence is not the answer. Patience and understanding and self control when teaching children social skills will go a hell of a lot farther that an ass whooping. My parents never struck me and I never struck either of my three children. Disciple is necessary, absolutely, but teaching through pain is wrong. Kids do not come with a manual. Use your head.. your the adult. Self control is paramount. It's like training a dog.. you beat it enough and it's spirit and it's trust will be lost.The thought of inflicting pain to ones child is disgusting and those that do are animals. How do you child beating scumbags like me now?
Well gentlemen you are entitled to your opinions, but I'm led to conclude from your comments one of two things..... One that you are incapable of making the distinctions between a spanking and a beating, or that you lack the self control to keep one from becoming the other. As a parent and a victim of child abuse I have been there, my son having been cursed with the same hyperactive disorder as I has had to be spanked. That doesnt make your opinions right or wrong but since circumstances are numerous and varied what worked for you doesnt necessarily mean it works for everyone. The one thing that bothers me in any topic is when people take a black or white stance, some things are that clear but life for the most part isnt.
Spanking is a tool just like grounding, or time out or any other form of discipline.... If you use it without patience and understanding then it is a dangerous and abusive act. But obviously Mr. Martin wants to make every form of this type of discipline into an ugly and callous act. His very words show how closed his mind is as he characterizes a person that spanks as an animal that should be jailed then also compares spanking with dog training...which makes me wonder if he has ever been involved in training dogs as what he describes is abuse of them not training.
Ed in direct response to your comment however I'd like to point out that I am defending the right to spank a child, not beat them. My argument is that parents that go to the extreme need to be persued criminally but I have to say that to say that spanking is a failure of parenting is really not a fair or accurate statement as I know right now there are loving parents, as well as people who have come from loving parents whom have been spanked, and they know the circumstances and environment around what led to that spanking and I can tell you that it is not a failure, while I shouldnt have been hospitalized as a child as I was for some beatings, there were times that the other parent did spank me that were deserved and called for. The comparison of spanking a child in the course of discipline vs hitting a spouse is an apples to oranges comparison at best. You can ground a child as well but can be arrested for limiting the freedom of a spouse as a punative measure.
With five kids in eight years my dad would sometimes lose his temper and say: "You want something to cry about? I'll give you something to cry about." I liked having a choice and I always decided that all I wanted to do is cry about nothing, not something, so I stopped crying and everything was back to normal in ten minutes or less. My parents had four more kids in the next ten years and he had mellowed considerably by then, the worst was behind him. I'm all for pretend spanking up to age six or so, no real spanking ever. You can get a point across without inflicting lasting pain or injury on a child and they will respect you for it. If you beat them they will knuckle under for a while but they'll hate you and disrespect you until you're dead and forgiven, if you're lucky.
I don't know need to hit my children to get them to listen, or do teach a lesson. I speak to them and treat them with the respect they would like to have. Hitting my children would do nothing. If that is your only recourse, then I pity you and your child. All it shows is your lack of skills.
Sorry if that's harsh, but as child who was phsyically and emotionally abused, I know what you're left with. Believe me, my children have had moments that have pushed me, but one thing I have learned to be fact, is when I'm mad it only gets worse.
Oh and Andrew is a father and a great one at that.
Again Thanks for the opinion Phil.....but your saying that spanking shows a lack of parenting skills doesnt make it a fact. It seems that everyone so far is blessed with children in this area that listen and never have to be disciplined. I will concede though Phil you are correct, spanking like any discipline is ineffective and useless if you do it out of anger.
Explain to me how slapping a child's ass proves anything? You don't listen, you get your ass slapped. Act a fool, get your ass slapped. Hit your sister, get your ass slapped...and on and on. Great, so now you essentially associate displeasing your parents with pain. Cool. What happens when that's not enough? What happens when they stop giving a hoot about what pleases you or not?
I'm sorry, Kyle, it doesn't have to be fact for you or anyone else. It is my opinion. I think if hitting your child is the only way you can exude control, you're going to be screwed when that child gets big enough, or tired enough of it.
Cause and effect is everything in this world. If you act a fool in the store, you leave, and you don't get to go back. If you leave a mess and won't clean up? Treat your things with disrespect? Fine you lose what you have. Imagine my kid's faces the first time I came up stairs with a donation bag. Treat people with disrespect? Fine then you're disinvited from playdates, or parties, etc. Kids have to understand clearly what their actions do to people. If you're rude, people will not be around you. Treat your things poorly and they break, etc. Hitting doesn't show that.
Kyle, when my oldest boy was in second grade he had a teacher who gave cards that were either red, yellow or green to the kids each day depending on their behavior. Her name was Ms Stern. If he got two red cards I had to go meet with Ms Stern and sit at a second graders desk while she lectured me. After the first time, I told him I was going to have to spank him five times if he got a yellow card and ten times if he got a red one. He agreed and said he would improve. A week later I spanked him five times with my open hand, on his butt. A couple of weeks after that he got a red card. We talked about it on the way home and he asked me: "Could I get five when we get home and five when I'm done playing?" I had made my point and nothing more was necessary. Ironically, a similar, yet gentler, course of action left my younger son asking me if I remember when I used to beat him. I tell him: "no."
There are parents who beat their children who love their children and more often than not the beating started out as a spanking that got out of control. Physical punishment/abuse directed toward a family member is a learned behavior passed down from one generation to the next. The best method of stopping family abusive behavior is to never start in the first place.
There is a great deal of irony that follows corporal punishment. As with capital punishment, the ages seem to refine it and make excuses for it. One of the great ironies that I recognize: it's wrong when school officials physically punish children, yet okay when parents do.
Another great irony was best expressed by William Skakespeare in "Hamlet," "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."
One would presume (and hope) parents do not want to spank their children. Some of the defenses (I was spanked, and I turned out alright) seem to push the argument over the precipice. Are we gung-ho on spanking or do we resent losing the option?
I am sure some on here got paddled in school by a coach or gym teacher.Were they scarred for life....They called it, the board of education...Spanking and beating two different things..I think verbal abuse can be worst than spanking.......
People resent losing the option. Exactly C.M. Steve Bailey, are you saying that if I have children I would want to spank them, because they so frustrate me? Yes I am a father. I have 4 beautiful children. I love them with all of my heart, so why would I spank them? That would be too easy. Ed and Phil are right on. We have other options, other skills. We send our children to school, some teach them at home, but the end goal is to educate them. Learn from mistakes. And we as parents are here to guide them, teach them right from wrong. Striking another human being out of anger or discipline is wrong. "My son having been cursed with the same hyperactive disorder as I has had to be spanked." Really Kyle. Both of my boys are Hyperactive. Is it their fault that they are hyper? Did I teach them to be that way, or let them become that way? Not by any means. That is what makes them who they are and why I love them. The last thing you should do to a Hyperactive child is spank them. It breaks them along with their spirit causing resentment. My boys flat out drive me out of my mind at times, but I have self-control. Take a step back, think, allow some dust to settle, and open their eyes to the consequence of their actions.
Lots of comparisons being made here. Some ignorant and ridiculous. Treat people as you would like to be treated. I know that I wouldn't appreciate being spanked. Bottom line, there is always a better way to discipline a child than to use physical means.
I see the same circular logic..... Basically if your spankings "breaks their spirit and causes resentment and hatred" Then you are going to far. The reality is your opinion is the only viewpoint you will accept anything to the contrary is abuse. Nice open minded thinking.
You know what Kyle? At the end of the day, they're your children, not mine. If that is how you want to parent your kids, then I say Mazel Tof. You don't have to agree with me and I don't have to agree with you. I promise not to raise your children, or support them, as long as you promise to stay away from mine.
All I know is that it took a long time into being an adult before I reconnected with my dad, and I make a concious effort to not be like him. I hope that one day, my son will want to be like me.
I understand Phil, but it still doesnt change anything, I did raise my kids, they are well adjusted adults who still remain in contact as well as the fact that they understand the why. It still doesnt change the fact that your little outburst shows that even you dont fully agree with your stance otherwise it wouldnt get under your skin. All I have asked you to do is open up your eyes and see that there isnt black and white. I havent disagreed that your methods dont work, but again not every child, environment or situation is the same.
You've nailed it on the head though.....we should be making the decision to spank or not to spank, not the courts or govt.
Well said Phil. All I can say to you Kyle is I hope you don't repeat the same cycle of abuse with your children that you said you suffered at the hands of your father.
I was also beaten as a child, from the time I was 3 until I was 15. My dad would hit me as hard as he could with his belt and I would be solid back and blue from my thighs to my knees. The emotional scars are worse than the physical ones. I blamed my father for being cruel and I blamed my mother for allowing him to do it. To this day I have trust issues. If you can't trust your parents, then who can you trust?
I don't know what the beatings were about. I was a "good kid." Many years have passed, and I still jump from loud noises and flinch if someone around me moves quickly.
When I had my own child, I swore that I would never hit her. She grew into a wonderful adult. She is an admistrator in a Rochester hospital now.
In my opinion, there is no good excuse for hitting a child. Beatings or spankings. If you need to resort to hitting, then YOU are the person who is doing a poor job, not the child. Teaching rather than hitting does take longer, but the results are far superior.
Man, I once poked an old school carrot peeler through the arm of a brand new pleather easy chair, several times, and I still don't know why except for possibly a tenth piece of toast with cimmamon and sugar followed by a big ass carrot and Tarzan on the TV while five other kids did a jungle dance in the living room. The fact that my dad didn't kill me tells me he was a better man than I am. I still go sit in a corner for time out, a few times a week, as a tribute to his memory. Thank you Raymond Richard Richardson Sr, man of God and nature, for my life. I wish I could say I will see you again, but I won't except in my dreams. The good ones dude.
My little outburst, Kyle? Please understand, I don't agree with you and I fully stand in that. There is no wishy washy here. I think using spanking as a 'tool" is silly. What I'm saying is I agree that the government should have no say in how you parent. I just don't want your "tools" anywhere near my children.
If you and all of the others in support of your comments feel that is the right course of action, then I say fine, but I don't agree with you at all.
Do you know how much we would have to pay a professional head shrinker to expand our minds like Billie and Howard do for free? They help release me from the stinkin' thinking that has America in a funk today and I salute them in a respectful manner. Don't kick your dog, don't hit your kid and don't lay an angry finger on your wife. You will have a happy life, it really does work. I call it the three step plan.
Everyone be honest now, both with everyone here and more importantly yourself. How many of you touched the stove even though your mother or father told you it was hot and not to touch it? I would be willing to bet after experiencing that pain from the hot stove that you did not want to touch it again.
Jeremiah, I remember being in on an itimate conversation between my mom and dad because I had pushed my way in. I don't know how old I was but I'm guessing eight to ten. I had no business being there but my mom was passing judgement on some neighbor or someone she had read about in the paper and she said: "I would never want one of my children to call me a whore" guess what I said next? That's right: "Whore" whack, 1/240th of a second. The stars cleared quickly, I just thought I was being funny like the time I painted a red soviet star on my white T-shirt and wore it to high school in the tenth grade. I was telling my dad about the uptight cafateria lady when "Whack", holy shit somebody needs to explain this semantics stuff to me. I need more practice before the next "whack" comes. I try not to whack anyone in a manner I would not like to be whacked. Which means: "Be nice or don't be at all."
unfortunately what the news is about is not spanking ,the examples given are outright beating and abuse meant to cause injury,as usual people get out in left field,there is no harm in spanking but there is deffinite harm in outright beating....
Thats the point I have been trying to make Ronald, however people automatically turn a spanking into a beating to overdramatize their point making it seem that a spanking is a beating. Oh well the numbers speak for themselves, no matter what the vocal minority say in here the poll numbers are obvious.... 79.66% say spanking is appropriate, while 20% say it is not.....rather lopsided numbers eh?
Is striking another adult an
Is striking another adult an appropriate way of saying that they were wrong for their actions? Pretty sure that is called assault. Do two wrongs make a right?
"Spare the rod, Spoil the
"Spare the rod, Spoil the child."
I will assume Andrew does not
I will assume Andrew does not have children based on his comment!!!
Personally I feel there is no
Personally I feel there is no hard fast answer to this question. As a child I was beaten with a belt and ended up in the hospital several times, this qualifies me to allude to this practice taken to extremes. However if you look at today's child raising techniques you can see that this no spanking has raised a generation of children who CAN be smug, very rebellious and sometimes even dangerous ( can anyone say Columbine ) They grow up thinking there will be no consequences and that as parents you HAVE to do this or that for them or they will just make grief for you.
As I said this is situational, it is not needed for every parent or child, but the Govt needs to step out of regulating the home to a certain degree and deal with focusing on the criminal application of this type of behavior, maybe with the same severity that the offending parents use with the children they abuse. Theres a difference between spanking a child for wrongdoing, vs starving and beating a child for minimal infractions or errors for when the child dies, what lesson is learned and what the hell was the point?
Reading the article that spawned this poll I noticed one thing, in almost all the cases cited it wasnt parents raising children but rather supposed do-gooders adopting foreign children and seeming to be "on a mission" to make them perfect. Again a generalization but seems this good will was applied with the same vigor and ruthlessness as has been exemplified in the past with native americans, slaves, or even as Hitler did with the Jews. Convert, or change, or you are less than human and will be treated that way.
As for Andrew's comment, well theres a distinction between what interacting adults do and the interaction between a parent and child. Anyone mature enough would see and recognize that and wouldn't make such an absurd comparison. As a matter of fact Andrew lets go even further in your comparison, lets say a person is a grocery store goes bonkers, picks up a shovel handle and beginss to beat anyone that comes within reach...... Is it wrong for another adult, or security person or even cop to subdue that person? In your definition it isnt but in real life thats what any reasonable person would expect and even welcome as an action. I do believe it wouldn't be considered an assault, and the person intervening would be considered to be doing what is right.
Kyle your experience as a
Kyle your experience as a child is one that no child should endure at the hands of anyone let alone a parent.To justify the practice using arguing the extremes and the absurd do nothing to support your argument.
Spanking a child is an admission of failure on the part of a parent to teach the child a lesson or correct something the child has done. When adults resort to assaulting a child for whatever reason it is criminal conduct. The claim that parents have some special license to batter their children ranks with the claim of spousal privilage that a husband occasionaly hitting his wife is accepable because they are married or that a wife isn't assaulting her husband when she clocks him.
The fact is assault on another person is criminal. I am surprised that the anti-abortion right-to-life crowd that crowd that embrces the belief that an embryio is a living person and as such should be accorded all of the protections due a person hasn't weighed in on the side of protecting children from being assaulted by their parents.
OK..I have kept my mouth shut
OK..I have kept my mouth shut for months here on the Batavian...NOW you hit a soft spot. Anyone..thats.. ANYONE who strikes a child in the name of discipline or for any reason should be jailed. Andrew Martin (no relation) is spot on. It's assualt and child abuse. What are you teaching the chiild..that it's ok to hit people because you don't like the way they are acting? That if you want things your way..beat the other person? Spare the rod..spoil the child??? Shut Up! That's ridiculous. Violence is not the answer. Patience and understanding and self control when teaching children social skills will go a hell of a lot farther that an ass whooping. My parents never struck me and I never struck either of my three children. Disciple is necessary, absolutely, but teaching through pain is wrong. Kids do not come with a manual. Use your head.. your the adult. Self control is paramount. It's like training a dog.. you beat it enough and it's spirit and it's trust will be lost.The thought of inflicting pain to ones child is disgusting and those that do are animals. How do you child beating scumbags like me now?
A fairly-balanced review of
A fairly-balanced review of the arguments:
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2007/01/hitting_bottom.html
Well gentlemen you are
Well gentlemen you are entitled to your opinions, but I'm led to conclude from your comments one of two things..... One that you are incapable of making the distinctions between a spanking and a beating, or that you lack the self control to keep one from becoming the other. As a parent and a victim of child abuse I have been there, my son having been cursed with the same hyperactive disorder as I has had to be spanked. That doesnt make your opinions right or wrong but since circumstances are numerous and varied what worked for you doesnt necessarily mean it works for everyone. The one thing that bothers me in any topic is when people take a black or white stance, some things are that clear but life for the most part isnt.
Spanking is a tool just like grounding, or time out or any other form of discipline.... If you use it without patience and understanding then it is a dangerous and abusive act. But obviously Mr. Martin wants to make every form of this type of discipline into an ugly and callous act. His very words show how closed his mind is as he characterizes a person that spanks as an animal that should be jailed then also compares spanking with dog training...which makes me wonder if he has ever been involved in training dogs as what he describes is abuse of them not training.
Ed in direct response to your comment however I'd like to point out that I am defending the right to spank a child, not beat them. My argument is that parents that go to the extreme need to be persued criminally but I have to say that to say that spanking is a failure of parenting is really not a fair or accurate statement as I know right now there are loving parents, as well as people who have come from loving parents whom have been spanked, and they know the circumstances and environment around what led to that spanking and I can tell you that it is not a failure, while I shouldnt have been hospitalized as a child as I was for some beatings, there were times that the other parent did spank me that were deserved and called for. The comparison of spanking a child in the course of discipline vs hitting a spouse is an apples to oranges comparison at best. You can ground a child as well but can be arrested for limiting the freedom of a spouse as a punative measure.
With five kids in eight years
With five kids in eight years my dad would sometimes lose his temper and say: "You want something to cry about? I'll give you something to cry about." I liked having a choice and I always decided that all I wanted to do is cry about nothing, not something, so I stopped crying and everything was back to normal in ten minutes or less. My parents had four more kids in the next ten years and he had mellowed considerably by then, the worst was behind him. I'm all for pretend spanking up to age six or so, no real spanking ever. You can get a point across without inflicting lasting pain or injury on a child and they will respect you for it. If you beat them they will knuckle under for a while but they'll hate you and disrespect you until you're dead and forgiven, if you're lucky.
I don't know need to hit my
I don't know need to hit my children to get them to listen, or do teach a lesson. I speak to them and treat them with the respect they would like to have. Hitting my children would do nothing. If that is your only recourse, then I pity you and your child. All it shows is your lack of skills.
Sorry if that's harsh, but as child who was phsyically and emotionally abused, I know what you're left with. Believe me, my children have had moments that have pushed me, but one thing I have learned to be fact, is when I'm mad it only gets worse.
Oh and Andrew is a father and a great one at that.
Again Thanks for the opinion
Again Thanks for the opinion Phil.....but your saying that spanking shows a lack of parenting skills doesnt make it a fact. It seems that everyone so far is blessed with children in this area that listen and never have to be disciplined. I will concede though Phil you are correct, spanking like any discipline is ineffective and useless if you do it out of anger.
Kyle, how does it show
Kyle, how does it show parenting skills?
Explain to me how slapping a child's ass proves anything? You don't listen, you get your ass slapped. Act a fool, get your ass slapped. Hit your sister, get your ass slapped...and on and on. Great, so now you essentially associate displeasing your parents with pain. Cool. What happens when that's not enough? What happens when they stop giving a hoot about what pleases you or not?
I'm sorry, Kyle, it doesn't have to be fact for you or anyone else. It is my opinion. I think if hitting your child is the only way you can exude control, you're going to be screwed when that child gets big enough, or tired enough of it.
Cause and effect is everything in this world. If you act a fool in the store, you leave, and you don't get to go back. If you leave a mess and won't clean up? Treat your things with disrespect? Fine you lose what you have. Imagine my kid's faces the first time I came up stairs with a donation bag. Treat people with disrespect? Fine then you're disinvited from playdates, or parties, etc. Kids have to understand clearly what their actions do to people. If you're rude, people will not be around you. Treat your things poorly and they break, etc. Hitting doesn't show that.
Kyle, when my oldest boy was
Kyle, when my oldest boy was in second grade he had a teacher who gave cards that were either red, yellow or green to the kids each day depending on their behavior. Her name was Ms Stern. If he got two red cards I had to go meet with Ms Stern and sit at a second graders desk while she lectured me. After the first time, I told him I was going to have to spank him five times if he got a yellow card and ten times if he got a red one. He agreed and said he would improve. A week later I spanked him five times with my open hand, on his butt. A couple of weeks after that he got a red card. We talked about it on the way home and he asked me: "Could I get five when we get home and five when I'm done playing?" I had made my point and nothing more was necessary. Ironically, a similar, yet gentler, course of action left my younger son asking me if I remember when I used to beat him. I tell him: "no."
There are parents who beat
There are parents who beat their children who love their children and more often than not the beating started out as a spanking that got out of control. Physical punishment/abuse directed toward a family member is a learned behavior passed down from one generation to the next. The best method of stopping family abusive behavior is to never start in the first place.
There is a great deal of
There is a great deal of irony that follows corporal punishment. As with capital punishment, the ages seem to refine it and make excuses for it. One of the great ironies that I recognize: it's wrong when school officials physically punish children, yet okay when parents do.
Another great irony was best expressed by William Skakespeare in "Hamlet," "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."
One would presume (and hope) parents do not want to spank their children. Some of the defenses (I was spanked, and I turned out alright) seem to push the argument over the precipice. Are we gung-ho on spanking or do we resent losing the option?
I am sure some on here got
I am sure some on here got paddled in school by a coach or gym teacher.Were they scarred for life....They called it, the board of education...Spanking and beating two different things..I think verbal abuse can be worst than spanking.......
People resent losing the
People resent losing the option. Exactly C.M. Steve Bailey, are you saying that if I have children I would want to spank them, because they so frustrate me? Yes I am a father. I have 4 beautiful children. I love them with all of my heart, so why would I spank them? That would be too easy. Ed and Phil are right on. We have other options, other skills. We send our children to school, some teach them at home, but the end goal is to educate them. Learn from mistakes. And we as parents are here to guide them, teach them right from wrong. Striking another human being out of anger or discipline is wrong. "My son having been cursed with the same hyperactive disorder as I has had to be spanked." Really Kyle. Both of my boys are Hyperactive. Is it their fault that they are hyper? Did I teach them to be that way, or let them become that way? Not by any means. That is what makes them who they are and why I love them. The last thing you should do to a Hyperactive child is spank them. It breaks them along with their spirit causing resentment. My boys flat out drive me out of my mind at times, but I have self-control. Take a step back, think, allow some dust to settle, and open their eyes to the consequence of their actions.
Lots of comparisons being made here. Some ignorant and ridiculous. Treat people as you would like to be treated. I know that I wouldn't appreciate being spanked. Bottom line, there is always a better way to discipline a child than to use physical means.
I see the same circular
I see the same circular logic..... Basically if your spankings "breaks their spirit and causes resentment and hatred" Then you are going to far. The reality is your opinion is the only viewpoint you will accept anything to the contrary is abuse. Nice open minded thinking.
You know what Kyle? At the
You know what Kyle? At the end of the day, they're your children, not mine. If that is how you want to parent your kids, then I say Mazel Tof. You don't have to agree with me and I don't have to agree with you. I promise not to raise your children, or support them, as long as you promise to stay away from mine.
All I know is that it took a long time into being an adult before I reconnected with my dad, and I make a concious effort to not be like him. I hope that one day, my son will want to be like me.
I understand Phil, but it
I understand Phil, but it still doesnt change anything, I did raise my kids, they are well adjusted adults who still remain in contact as well as the fact that they understand the why. It still doesnt change the fact that your little outburst shows that even you dont fully agree with your stance otherwise it wouldnt get under your skin. All I have asked you to do is open up your eyes and see that there isnt black and white. I havent disagreed that your methods dont work, but again not every child, environment or situation is the same.
You've nailed it on the head though.....we should be making the decision to spank or not to spank, not the courts or govt.
Well said Phil. All I can say
Well said Phil. All I can say to you Kyle is I hope you don't repeat the same cycle of abuse with your children that you said you suffered at the hands of your father.
I was also beaten as a child,
I was also beaten as a child, from the time I was 3 until I was 15. My dad would hit me as hard as he could with his belt and I would be solid back and blue from my thighs to my knees. The emotional scars are worse than the physical ones. I blamed my father for being cruel and I blamed my mother for allowing him to do it. To this day I have trust issues. If you can't trust your parents, then who can you trust?
I don't know what the beatings were about. I was a "good kid." Many years have passed, and I still jump from loud noises and flinch if someone around me moves quickly.
When I had my own child, I swore that I would never hit her. She grew into a wonderful adult. She is an admistrator in a Rochester hospital now.
In my opinion, there is no good excuse for hitting a child. Beatings or spankings. If you need to resort to hitting, then YOU are the person who is doing a poor job, not the child. Teaching rather than hitting does take longer, but the results are far superior.
Man, I once poked an old
Man, I once poked an old school carrot peeler through the arm of a brand new pleather easy chair, several times, and I still don't know why except for possibly a tenth piece of toast with cimmamon and sugar followed by a big ass carrot and Tarzan on the TV while five other kids did a jungle dance in the living room. The fact that my dad didn't kill me tells me he was a better man than I am. I still go sit in a corner for time out, a few times a week, as a tribute to his memory. Thank you Raymond Richard Richardson Sr, man of God and nature, for my life. I wish I could say I will see you again, but I won't except in my dreams. The good ones dude.
My little outburst, Kyle?
My little outburst, Kyle? Please understand, I don't agree with you and I fully stand in that. There is no wishy washy here. I think using spanking as a 'tool" is silly. What I'm saying is I agree that the government should have no say in how you parent. I just don't want your "tools" anywhere near my children.
If you and all of the others in support of your comments feel that is the right course of action, then I say fine, but I don't agree with you at all.
Do you know how much we would
Do you know how much we would have to pay a professional head shrinker to expand our minds like Billie and Howard do for free? They help release me from the stinkin' thinking that has America in a funk today and I salute them in a respectful manner. Don't kick your dog, don't hit your kid and don't lay an angry finger on your wife. You will have a happy life, it really does work. I call it the three step plan.
Everyone be honest now, both
Everyone be honest now, both with everyone here and more importantly yourself. How many of you touched the stove even though your mother or father told you it was hot and not to touch it? I would be willing to bet after experiencing that pain from the hot stove that you did not want to touch it again.
Jeremiah, I remember being in
Jeremiah, I remember being in on an itimate conversation between my mom and dad because I had pushed my way in. I don't know how old I was but I'm guessing eight to ten. I had no business being there but my mom was passing judgement on some neighbor or someone she had read about in the paper and she said: "I would never want one of my children to call me a whore" guess what I said next? That's right: "Whore" whack, 1/240th of a second. The stars cleared quickly, I just thought I was being funny like the time I painted a red soviet star on my white T-shirt and wore it to high school in the tenth grade. I was telling my dad about the uptight cafateria lady when "Whack", holy shit somebody needs to explain this semantics stuff to me. I need more practice before the next "whack" comes. I try not to whack anyone in a manner I would not like to be whacked. Which means: "Be nice or don't be at all."
Not quite sure what you are
Not quite sure what you are getting at George, think you need to spell it out for me.
unfortunately what the news
unfortunately what the news is about is not spanking ,the examples given are outright beating and abuse meant to cause injury,as usual people get out in left field,there is no harm in spanking but there is deffinite harm in outright beating....
Thats the point I have been
Thats the point I have been trying to make Ronald, however people automatically turn a spanking into a beating to overdramatize their point making it seem that a spanking is a beating. Oh well the numbers speak for themselves, no matter what the vocal minority say in here the poll numbers are obvious.... 79.66% say spanking is appropriate, while 20% say it is not.....rather lopsided numbers eh?