My view of bullying is that it sucks! With that being said, I think there's a lot that can be done about bullying. I've said it before and I'll say it again, preventing bullying starts with the parents. Snoop on your kids from time to time to see what they're up to.
When my youngest son was little, he was popular, well-dressed, a blonde, blue-eyed cutie. But he always had a big heart when it came to the least popular students at school. In a manner of speaking, he was so 'cool' -- and fearless -- he didn't care what others thought about his taking sides with kids who often got the brunt of bullying.
One of my proudest moments came at the promotion ceremony for fifth-graders who would be going on to middle school in the fall. A mother came up to me and told me how thankful she was for Charlie, who befriended her son when few others did. She said it made a profound difference in her child's life and his sense of worth.
The kid was extremely overweight and got teased a lot. My son would often sit with him in the cafeteria, and then during recess insist that this boy get to join in the group's activities. Otherwise, Charlie wouldn't participate. They relented. Charlie was a charmer, one who was beyond caring about popularity if it meant being mean to someone who was an easy target for cowards.
I would like to say he took that magnanimous nature and went onward and upward. But he didn't. He lost his footing in this old world, but he will always be a bigger person than those who made life hell for that schoolboy. And I will always cherish his courage.
I agree with the overall notion that bullying needs to be addressed by parents, teachers, adults in general and children. Regardless of the form it takes, intimidation, physical or mental duress, hazing, inappropriate sexual advances; whatever the context, intervention should be exercised rather than looking the other way. There is a long-standing myth that bullying is a rite of passage, and children have to work out their problems with peers independently. There may be honor in fighting one's own battles, but the reality of most bullying situations: toleration and/or tacit approval provokes and/or perpetuates the bullying.
If an adult rationalizes non-intervention, he/she has invested approval of the bully and the bullying. Non-intervention is not the proper adult response; by not intervening, the adult witness has endorsed the bullying behavior- not lost on the bully (or the bullied).
A commonly held belief in high school settings, older students picking on younger students plays a positive socializing role in transitioning junior high students having moved up from elementary school. There is no justification for intimidation. Similar tacit approval has been historically granted to athletes 'toughening up' non-athletes during physical education classes. Such tacit approval is so prevalent that it is parodied in virtually every motion picture depiction of school 'gym classes.'
Logically, bullying behavior would not be an issue if adults who are aware of it put an end to it. Bullying does not exist in a vacuum. People see it (and like the infamous assistant coach that witnessed the Penn State shower-room rape) find excuses for doing nothing about it. No adult should tolerate bullying in any form- just as no adult should turn a blind eye to any violent or criminal behavior.
If adults take a proactive role in suppressing bullying, children would feel empowered to do likewise. We need to eliminate the notion that bullying has some redeeming value and dismiss the rationale that bullying must work itself out.
C.M.'s comments should be printed up and distributed at school events focusing on the problem of bullying, particularly those attended mostly by teachers, administrators and parents.
Bullies do what they do because they can. That's why it's so important to stand up to them.
I know I may get some downvotes for my opinion, but I have stayed quiet on this whole situation until this point, and now I feel the need to share it.
I voted in the poll that - "Bullying was something that kids just needed to learn to deal with, but now, with the always-on Internet it is a more serious issue and should be dealth with seriously"
That is my view on the subject, and here is why.
I was bullied, especially during high school, kids picked on me because I am overweight, because my family doesn't have a lot of money, because I did not have all the expensive stuff they had and because I went to BOCES by choice. You know what though, I survived I am now a 2 time college graduate, on my way to a 3rd degree. I am one of the youngest people in the country to become an ASE certified Master Automotive Technician, and being bullied helped me to get here. That was back in the day when bullying was limited to just in school though, there was no Facebook, no twitter, no Skype. Back then kid's actually went outside and played, back then when I came home from school I did not have to deal with those kids until 8 o'clock the next morning, I would come home, work on my 4-wheeler, or my Motorcycle or the old car my stepdad gave me to tinker with. As a lasting effect of me being bullied I did my best in everything that the bullies couldn't do, I was good with academics and mechanics, I may not have been a jock or a great musician, but the people that bullied me eventually started coming to me for help with their homework and car problems. In helping them with that I proved myself better than them, I did not hold grudges, I held myself to a higher standard, and I am a better person because of it.
Things have changed now though, with the coming of the information age came the coming of 24/7 bullying. Kids on Facebook are getting younger and younger, and there is no way of stopping it. Facebook has an age limit but all you have to do is put in the year it wants to see and you can create a profile. What really does not help is all of the parents that do not believe in telling their children no for fear of hurting their feelings, or for fear of their children saying that dreaded statement "I Hate You", because that is just the end of the world, but it's not. I cannot count on my hands the number of times I told my mother I hated her when i was a teenager, but now I realize that every time she told me no it was because she did not think i was ready for it, and you know what, she was right. I look back now and there is not a thing she told me not to do that I should have done then. Parents these days need to take charge of the situation, to tell their kids no, you cant have a Facebook or twitter , you aren't allowed on the internet or on the phone after certain times. This would greatly change the way that bullying is today and maybe kids would be better off with a little discipline and control in their lives. I know my mom was able to, and she worked 3 jobs while I was in high school. Parents need to stop being afraid of DCS and those agencies and take control of their kids lives. As a man I greatly admire once said "One of my boys did something i told him not to do once, and when i went to punish him he threatened to call the police. I handed him the phone and said go ahead, but there is a lot of ass whoopin that can happen in the 15 minutes it takes for them to get here." The kid took his punishment and learned not to threaten to that ever again, that is not abuse, that is discipline, and kids today could do with a lot more of it. It would change this whole bullying scenario.
That is just my opinion on the whole thing, and coming from a kid who was bullied and disciplined and turned out perfectly OK, I hope it has some meaning.
My view of bullying is that
My view of bullying is that it sucks! With that being said, I think there's a lot that can be done about bullying. I've said it before and I'll say it again, preventing bullying starts with the parents. Snoop on your kids from time to time to see what they're up to.
When my youngest son was
When my youngest son was little, he was popular, well-dressed, a blonde, blue-eyed cutie. But he always had a big heart when it came to the least popular students at school. In a manner of speaking, he was so 'cool' -- and fearless -- he didn't care what others thought about his taking sides with kids who often got the brunt of bullying.
One of my proudest moments came at the promotion ceremony for fifth-graders who would be going on to middle school in the fall. A mother came up to me and told me how thankful she was for Charlie, who befriended her son when few others did. She said it made a profound difference in her child's life and his sense of worth.
The kid was extremely overweight and got teased a lot. My son would often sit with him in the cafeteria, and then during recess insist that this boy get to join in the group's activities. Otherwise, Charlie wouldn't participate. They relented. Charlie was a charmer, one who was beyond caring about popularity if it meant being mean to someone who was an easy target for cowards.
I would like to say he took that magnanimous nature and went onward and upward. But he didn't. He lost his footing in this old world, but he will always be a bigger person than those who made life hell for that schoolboy. And I will always cherish his courage.
Amen to that Billie
Amen to that Billie
The world needs more young
The world needs more young Charlies
I agree with the overall
I agree with the overall notion that bullying needs to be addressed by parents, teachers, adults in general and children. Regardless of the form it takes, intimidation, physical or mental duress, hazing, inappropriate sexual advances; whatever the context, intervention should be exercised rather than looking the other way. There is a long-standing myth that bullying is a rite of passage, and children have to work out their problems with peers independently. There may be honor in fighting one's own battles, but the reality of most bullying situations: toleration and/or tacit approval provokes and/or perpetuates the bullying.
If an adult rationalizes non-intervention, he/she has invested approval of the bully and the bullying. Non-intervention is not the proper adult response; by not intervening, the adult witness has endorsed the bullying behavior- not lost on the bully (or the bullied).
A commonly held belief in high school settings, older students picking on younger students plays a positive socializing role in transitioning junior high students having moved up from elementary school. There is no justification for intimidation. Similar tacit approval has been historically granted to athletes 'toughening up' non-athletes during physical education classes. Such tacit approval is so prevalent that it is parodied in virtually every motion picture depiction of school 'gym classes.'
Logically, bullying behavior would not be an issue if adults who are aware of it put an end to it. Bullying does not exist in a vacuum. People see it (and like the infamous assistant coach that witnessed the Penn State shower-room rape) find excuses for doing nothing about it. No adult should tolerate bullying in any form- just as no adult should turn a blind eye to any violent or criminal behavior.
If adults take a proactive role in suppressing bullying, children would feel empowered to do likewise. We need to eliminate the notion that bullying has some redeeming value and dismiss the rationale that bullying must work itself out.
Thank you C.M.
Thank you C.M.
C.M.'s comments should be
C.M.'s comments should be printed up and distributed at school events focusing on the problem of bullying, particularly those attended mostly by teachers, administrators and parents.
Bullies do what they do because they can. That's why it's so important to stand up to them.
I know I may get some
I know I may get some downvotes for my opinion, but I have stayed quiet on this whole situation until this point, and now I feel the need to share it.
I voted in the poll that - "Bullying was something that kids just needed to learn to deal with, but now, with the always-on Internet it is a more serious issue and should be dealth with seriously"
That is my view on the subject, and here is why.
I was bullied, especially during high school, kids picked on me because I am overweight, because my family doesn't have a lot of money, because I did not have all the expensive stuff they had and because I went to BOCES by choice. You know what though, I survived I am now a 2 time college graduate, on my way to a 3rd degree. I am one of the youngest people in the country to become an ASE certified Master Automotive Technician, and being bullied helped me to get here. That was back in the day when bullying was limited to just in school though, there was no Facebook, no twitter, no Skype. Back then kid's actually went outside and played, back then when I came home from school I did not have to deal with those kids until 8 o'clock the next morning, I would come home, work on my 4-wheeler, or my Motorcycle or the old car my stepdad gave me to tinker with. As a lasting effect of me being bullied I did my best in everything that the bullies couldn't do, I was good with academics and mechanics, I may not have been a jock or a great musician, but the people that bullied me eventually started coming to me for help with their homework and car problems. In helping them with that I proved myself better than them, I did not hold grudges, I held myself to a higher standard, and I am a better person because of it.
Things have changed now though, with the coming of the information age came the coming of 24/7 bullying. Kids on Facebook are getting younger and younger, and there is no way of stopping it. Facebook has an age limit but all you have to do is put in the year it wants to see and you can create a profile. What really does not help is all of the parents that do not believe in telling their children no for fear of hurting their feelings, or for fear of their children saying that dreaded statement "I Hate You", because that is just the end of the world, but it's not. I cannot count on my hands the number of times I told my mother I hated her when i was a teenager, but now I realize that every time she told me no it was because she did not think i was ready for it, and you know what, she was right. I look back now and there is not a thing she told me not to do that I should have done then. Parents these days need to take charge of the situation, to tell their kids no, you cant have a Facebook or twitter , you aren't allowed on the internet or on the phone after certain times. This would greatly change the way that bullying is today and maybe kids would be better off with a little discipline and control in their lives. I know my mom was able to, and she worked 3 jobs while I was in high school. Parents need to stop being afraid of DCS and those agencies and take control of their kids lives. As a man I greatly admire once said "One of my boys did something i told him not to do once, and when i went to punish him he threatened to call the police. I handed him the phone and said go ahead, but there is a lot of ass whoopin that can happen in the 15 minutes it takes for them to get here." The kid took his punishment and learned not to threaten to that ever again, that is not abuse, that is discipline, and kids today could do with a lot more of it. It would change this whole bullying scenario.
That is just my opinion on the whole thing, and coming from a kid who was bullied and disciplined and turned out perfectly OK, I hope it has some meaning.
Good post, Daniel. Thanks for
Good post, Daniel. Thanks for sharing.